Ways to Nurture Healthy Self-Esteem
1. Accept Yourself and Stop Comparing
It is one thing to recognise out flaws, but another to be undermined by our internal nit picker. Sometimes you need to fire your inner critic.
The next time you are about to judge yourself harshly, ask yourself what you would say to a friend who comes to you feeling inferior to her peers.
If you would treat her kindly and with encouragement, don't practice double standards by being more harsh on yourself. Honour the unique person you are, appreciate yourself and celebrate your personal triumphs.
For us to be truly happy, we need to make an honest assessment of ourselves and acknowledge our imperfections. If you have a zit, a weight issue or a personality challenge, face it. Learning to deal with obstacles will empower you and improve your self-esteem, whereas running away from your problems will only leave you feeling out of control.
Is your fourth finger more valuable than your thumb? You may think this question is absurd, but many people set ridiculous standards for themselves, constantly compare themselves with others and belittle themselves. Each of us has our place and purpose.
2. Know Yourself and Your Purpose
A lack of self-understanding and direction can lead to emotional stress and a sense of losing control over your life. When we feel that our life is being steered by external circumstances most of the time, our self-esteem starts to dip and we feel that we have little control in our own life.
Imagine yourself as a pilot of a plane. If you have a no destination or a map and are just wandering aimlessly in the sky, you will soon run out of fuel and be unable to carry on.
Having a sense of purpose and knowing what you want to achieve lets you draw healthy boundaries. Have you ever felt swamped by requests?
You set out to complete a task but people start making last minute demands on you, and your own plans get bumped off your list. If you have a defined objective, you will draw boundaries and stay away from activities which do not contribute to your goals.
How do you see yourself? Do you believe in the labels that people create for you or, are you able to detach yourself from others' opinions?
Sometimes others can enlighten us by pointing out our blind spots; but on the other hand, you can't allow your self-worth to be taken for a roller-coaster ride by allowing yourself to be swayed by every comment.
To know yourself better, set aside a time to be still, alone. Be honest with yourself and get to know your abilities, fears, dreams and disappointments.
A person with healthy self-esteem is not one who has problems, but one who is aware of her purpose and learns to cut through the clutter in her life to walk consistently towards her own finishing line.
3. Seek Progression, Not Perfection
A sure way to crush positive self-esteem is to pursue perfection. Unrealistic expectations just set you up for disappointment.
Everyone gets their share of rainy days and challenges. Just as you do not expect a newborn to walk immediately, give yourself time and space to grow.
Regularly review your goals and reclaim your life by taking frequent time-outs.
Step out of your routine and take a candid look at the way you spent your day. Do not always blame yourself if things go wrong.
If you need to make an adjustment, plan it and follow through. Enjoy the progress you have made and remember that the word "perfect" only exists in the dictionary.
Appreciate the bigger picture. Set long-term goals and see short-term obstacles in perspective.
Remember, every single person has challenges, just like you.
4. Dare To Venture
Taking risks and small steps towards our goals expand self-esteem because we become less imprisoned by our own fears we venture forward.
We gain a higher level of confidence every time we dare to take a step out of our comfort zone.
Big changes come with small choices. Don't be unduly stressed if you do not seem to be anywhere near your goal yet.
Even Thomas Edison, the inventor of the light bulb, went through thousands of experiments before he could get the first bulb to light up properly. Even so, he said that he had not failed, but found 10, 000 ways that did not work.
When you worry, ask yourself what is the worst thing that could happen? You may well discover that the uncertainties you imagined are not as frightening once you take a positive step towards your plans.
The more you endeavour in life, the bolder you become. you also gain more skills and experience more success.
Everyone makes blunders , so a mistake does not make you a failure. See a mistake as a chance to know yourself better, an opportunity to gain knowledge and identify your areas of growth. Your self-esteem is defined internally, it must not depend on external approval.
Be comfortable in your own skin, in your own personality and have fun. Someone with a healthy sense of self is a person who believes she is valuable, who respects herself and enjoys being who she is every day.
Extracted from Simply Her / April 2005
It is one thing to recognise out flaws, but another to be undermined by our internal nit picker. Sometimes you need to fire your inner critic.
The next time you are about to judge yourself harshly, ask yourself what you would say to a friend who comes to you feeling inferior to her peers.
If you would treat her kindly and with encouragement, don't practice double standards by being more harsh on yourself. Honour the unique person you are, appreciate yourself and celebrate your personal triumphs.
For us to be truly happy, we need to make an honest assessment of ourselves and acknowledge our imperfections. If you have a zit, a weight issue or a personality challenge, face it. Learning to deal with obstacles will empower you and improve your self-esteem, whereas running away from your problems will only leave you feeling out of control.
Is your fourth finger more valuable than your thumb? You may think this question is absurd, but many people set ridiculous standards for themselves, constantly compare themselves with others and belittle themselves. Each of us has our place and purpose.
2. Know Yourself and Your Purpose
A lack of self-understanding and direction can lead to emotional stress and a sense of losing control over your life. When we feel that our life is being steered by external circumstances most of the time, our self-esteem starts to dip and we feel that we have little control in our own life.
Imagine yourself as a pilot of a plane. If you have a no destination or a map and are just wandering aimlessly in the sky, you will soon run out of fuel and be unable to carry on.
Having a sense of purpose and knowing what you want to achieve lets you draw healthy boundaries. Have you ever felt swamped by requests?
You set out to complete a task but people start making last minute demands on you, and your own plans get bumped off your list. If you have a defined objective, you will draw boundaries and stay away from activities which do not contribute to your goals.
How do you see yourself? Do you believe in the labels that people create for you or, are you able to detach yourself from others' opinions?
Sometimes others can enlighten us by pointing out our blind spots; but on the other hand, you can't allow your self-worth to be taken for a roller-coaster ride by allowing yourself to be swayed by every comment.
To know yourself better, set aside a time to be still, alone. Be honest with yourself and get to know your abilities, fears, dreams and disappointments.
A person with healthy self-esteem is not one who has problems, but one who is aware of her purpose and learns to cut through the clutter in her life to walk consistently towards her own finishing line.
3. Seek Progression, Not Perfection
A sure way to crush positive self-esteem is to pursue perfection. Unrealistic expectations just set you up for disappointment.
Everyone gets their share of rainy days and challenges. Just as you do not expect a newborn to walk immediately, give yourself time and space to grow.
Regularly review your goals and reclaim your life by taking frequent time-outs.
Step out of your routine and take a candid look at the way you spent your day. Do not always blame yourself if things go wrong.
If you need to make an adjustment, plan it and follow through. Enjoy the progress you have made and remember that the word "perfect" only exists in the dictionary.
Appreciate the bigger picture. Set long-term goals and see short-term obstacles in perspective.
Remember, every single person has challenges, just like you.
4. Dare To Venture
Taking risks and small steps towards our goals expand self-esteem because we become less imprisoned by our own fears we venture forward.
We gain a higher level of confidence every time we dare to take a step out of our comfort zone.
Big changes come with small choices. Don't be unduly stressed if you do not seem to be anywhere near your goal yet.
Even Thomas Edison, the inventor of the light bulb, went through thousands of experiments before he could get the first bulb to light up properly. Even so, he said that he had not failed, but found 10, 000 ways that did not work.
When you worry, ask yourself what is the worst thing that could happen? You may well discover that the uncertainties you imagined are not as frightening once you take a positive step towards your plans.
The more you endeavour in life, the bolder you become. you also gain more skills and experience more success.
Everyone makes blunders , so a mistake does not make you a failure. See a mistake as a chance to know yourself better, an opportunity to gain knowledge and identify your areas of growth. Your self-esteem is defined internally, it must not depend on external approval.
Be comfortable in your own skin, in your own personality and have fun. Someone with a healthy sense of self is a person who believes she is valuable, who respects herself and enjoys being who she is every day.
Extracted from Simply Her / April 2005
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